Archive for the ‘Faith Writing’ Category

10
Jan

A Father Forgets

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“A Father Forgets”

By: Livingston Larned

comments and “My Prayer” By: Jeffery Moore

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily, I came to your bedside.

These are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

***I’m Sorry***
At breakfast I found fault too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Good-bye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your socks. I humiliated you before your friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Socks were expensive, and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, son, from a father!

***Spontaneous Love***
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in, timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped. You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither…and then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

***Wrong Measuring Stick***
Well, son, it was shortly afterward that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. It was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years. And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt here, ashamed!

***I Will***
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy. I will chum with you, suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual, “He is nothing but a boy, a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your bed, I see that you are still a little boy. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

***Jeffery’s comments***
When I first read this, tears welled up in my eyes. How many times have I taken my own boys and their youthfulness for granted. Often, especially because of the rush of everything like work, paying bills, doing this and doing that, we often forget that our children, our gifts from God, are young and learning, and can’t possibly know what we do. In their youth they are learning and experiencing what we have already learned and experienced, and our role, our duty, as their parent, is to teach them life’s lessons in a manner that teaches them truth revealed by our undying love. Only through truth and love can we ever hope to be successful in teaching them.

**My Prayer**
Heavenly Father, I give you the Glory and Praise for being the perfect Father and giving me the only role model worth following. As I nurture and watch over my children, I proclaim you are their ultimate Father, and I am only their Daddy, their keeper to bring them up in honor of you. Father give me the strength to teach my little ones to love and honor and respect and follow you completely. Give me the ability to bring them up in love and truth so they may grow up and become successful men of God, serving you rather than men. Father pour out your Spirit on me and my little ones, so we may be like mirrors, a reflection of you. Give me the wisdom and courage to do these things.

In Jesus name, Amen.

29
Aug

Coming Off the Death Bed

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“Coming Off the Death Bed”

by:  Jeffery Moore

This event took place when I was around 16-17 years of age, which coincidentally is about 17 years ago. I was attending a local Church of God church, looking for my spirituality, trying to find my ‘place’ to worship. I have many fond memories of that Church. It was small with very few members and that made for a very close knit bunch. The local pastor was also the Bishop, in fact he was the representing Bishop for the US. Now, understand this is a small ‘sect’ of the Church of God, but his knowledge and his power as the US Bishop was amazing, and at times could be daunting, especially for someone like me about to expose a gift and not fully knowing how it would be accepted. Excommunication, while better known in the Catholic Church, is still practiced by many Christian denominations, and I definitely wasn’t going to be looking for that.

It was a Sunday morning, and worship was well underway, when we all stood to sing. A visiting Bishop was standing next to Bishop Ware just to the left of the pulpit/stage if you were facing the pulpit. I was center of the right aisle, on the other side of the Church.

As I stood to sing, I felt a little different, I wasn’t for sure what was going on, but stood anyway as the singing was starting. Immediately, once I was standing completely, I realised that I needed to speak to the visiting Bishop. I didn’t know his name, or where he was from exactly, it was the first time he was at the Church. A brief introduction happened earlier, but I didn’t really pay attention (sorry).

The longer I stood there, the more I knew I needed to speak to this Bishop. Inside my head, ideas were racing, including calling myself a complete nut. There was absolutely no way I was going to walk across the Church floor to go speak to a visiting Bishop that I didn’t even know! I was convinced I couldn’t do it, and even closed my eyes to stop looking in that direction, but the more I looked, the more I felt drawn to go over there and speak to him. I didn’t even know why I needed to speak to him, or even what I would say. I stood there, slightly swaying, with my eyes closed, and a full argument with myself in motion. A voice calling out to me to go, it wouldn’t relent, it insisted I must go, but I was fighting as hard as I could.

“What is it my son?” I heard asked of me, with my eyes closed. Shocked at hearing this different voice, I opened my eyes and realised that I WAS standing in front of the very Bishop that I had been arguing with myself and the voice of not speaking to! He looked down at me in concern and reached out his hand. I took his hand, scared to death, not knowing of how to explain it all to him, much less Bishop Ware!

As we took each others’ hands, I immediately began to cry, tears streaming from my face. He again asked what was wrong and at that very moment I felt a change in me. It almost felt as if sitting inside myself, as I could see him and hear what I was saying, but it wasn’t me! This is the message that I heard coming from me, but not me:

The Lord, Your God, has heard your pleas, and even now will answer your prayers. Your wife is on her deathbed, but the Lord says she will walk again.
Now, how do you explain yourself after those words come out of your mouth? His wife wasn’t at Church, I had never met her, didn’t know for sure he was married, never even thought to wonder. Yet, these words did come from me, and to my surprise, his hands began to tremble in mine.

As I “regained” myself, I looked up at the Bishop, and realised tears were streaming from his face too! All I could think was, “Ok, you’ve don’t it now, their gonna kick you out, call you a devil worshipper, and possibly more!” Strangely, I felt at peace at the same time my brain was running over one hundred miles an hour. Then, I realised the music had stopped. The visiting Bishop had held up his other hand, and stopped the music, now I was scared.

This visiting Bishop proceeded to tell of how his wife wasn’t there with him, that she had been sick for a long time, on her deathbed. He told that he had only mentioned that she was sick only to Bishop Ware, and yet received a message through me that she would walk again. Ok, a small sigh of relief, before the real worry set in. The entire Church was immediately in a celebration spirit, and I breathed a sigh of relief again, but still had some worries!

“Ok, so let’s say she doesn’t walk again, where am I at then?” I asked this and many, many more questions of myself on my way home and even more as I got home. I decided that going back was not an option, so the next Sunday, when Bishop Ware called to make sure I was coming, I made up some lame excuse. Then, two Sundays after the event had transpired, Bishop Ware called again. Once again, nervous, I made up another lame excuse. Bishop Ware, I believe realised my hesitation of ever returning, informed me that Sunday night, that night, I would be there, and he would personally pick me up–no excuses! I said ok, but I was really thinking “Awwwl Shit!” No joke.

That Sunday night, right as services were about to start, I noticed the visiting Bishop make his way to the front to sit next to Bishop Ware. I couldn’t help it, a feeling of “Awwwl Shit,” ran through my head when I saw him. Fortunately, services ran as normal, so my paranoia of being called before the Church got to run full course! I dreamed up of one million and one ways to escape, in case it got ugly. Then, right towards the end of the service, I hear it. “Jeff, would you come up to the front, please,” Brother Ware said calmly and with a grin. Yep, you guessed it, another ‘Awwwwl Shit,’ ran through my head. Reluctantly, and with encouragement from Bishop Ware, I went up front.

Bishop Ware, I noticed, smiled at the visiting Bishop, I wish I knew his name, and began orating to the Church of what had happened two weeks earlier. The visiting Bishop approached, and I believe it had to be visibly aware, I was scared. He had for some reason, gone to the other end of the Church where the doors are leading into the foyer. He was approaching me, tears streaming down his face, but smiling. He then moved over to the side, and I could see a little frail lady humbly walking behind him, he had blocked me from seeing her until they got closer to the altar.

Immediately I am crying, and so is everyone else. Bishop Ware announces that all things are possible, if we listen to God. All of us at the altar are hugging and smiling and crying all at the same time. Soon, after we all calm down some, the visiting Bishop, hugs me and says thank you. Immediately I responded without thinking, “Don’t thank me, I was only a messenger.” I explained the emotional roller coaster and debates about telling him and how, somehow, I ended up in front of him giving him the message, against my better judgement. He laughed and said that great things can happen if we listen to the Lord, but sometimes, when we protest, He’ll just take over and do what needs to be done how He sees fit, which is itself a message, one for me…

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (KJV – Romans 8:28)