Dear Son,

Last night you saw your daddy in pain. With an ankle swollen pretty bad, and chest pains that even I thought was a sign of the end. I know you realised the severity of it and saw it in your little face, even when I tried to joke it off with you, or change the subject. I slept in your bed for you and brother to sleep with your momma, just in case my end was at hand, I didn’t want you to find me. It felt that the end was that close, that real. I knew if I could hold out for a few more hours I would see the doctor, instead of waiting for hours in an emergency room, so I held out on the e.r., but prayed that I could hold out, that our Lord would hold me and help me bear it until then.

As I layed in your bed, you came and wanted to ‘camp’ out with me. You told me that I needed you there, and as nervous as I was, I really did. We layed there and watched some tv (my show) until you mentioned we could watch your show, a cartoon. I was happy to say yes, and really loved seeing you light up as we watched cartoons for a little while, before you fell asleep.

The most important thing I remember is before you fell asleep, I told you that we would trust God to help me get to see the dr and get better. Your response to me cheered me, lifted me, and even now chokes me up. “Jesus will take the pain, and you will be ok, and I can wait here with you” You said this smiling, knowing that He would take care of us, you wanted help for me, and you expected it, the perfect formula for answered prayers.

Later on, I woke up, and went back to my bed, and so you wouldn’t be alone, momma come got in the bed with you. I woke up to find you snuggled right beside me. I found out you woke up after I left asking where I was, and come to be next to me again. Even walking from one end of the house to the other in the dark (which I know you are not a fan of the dark). This touched me son, that you knew to call on Jesus for help, and that you would face your own fear to be with me and supportive, and wait on Jesus to get me through the night, right beside me.

As your daddy, I want the very best for you, and want you to always trust in Jesus. Sometimes I wonder what you absorb and understand, but you have shown that the greatest lesson to learn, trusting in Jesus, and believing in Jesus, is a lesson that you understand very well. It thrills my heart and my soul to see that. I know the Lord is looking on you, smiling and proud, that you know who He is, believe in Him, and trust Him to take care of you, and know how to go to Him, unwavering. The greatest gift any daddy could have.

My son, I love you,

Love,
Daddy